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((((((((((((( Dear Hearts ))))))))))))))

Thank you so, so much. Yesterday did not go as planned. Of course, when people are in shock and in mourning things are not easy. I feel so sorry for my SIL.

I had a problem with my brother yesterday. It was like it was when we were kids pretending everything was ok so my father wouldn't explode on us.

It has literally taken me years to get my family back to together. My ex didn't allow me to go near my family. All of us were hurt and of course there is much more to it than just not being allowed to go near them. A divorce and years of counseling have helped heal a lot of things. Now I don't know what's going to happen and I just feel sick inside.

Christmas is coming and I thought that just this one time, it would be the perfect Christmas. I was actually looking forward to putting up my tree. Now I honestly feel like tossing my cookies and crawling back under the blanket and hiding. I can't allow myself to do that, but I'm so very frightened.

Jan