I don't think it's wrong to want more. I do. I LOVED working. I was willing to sacrifice nearly anything to do it and I made myself sicker by pushing so hard. I was successful in a challenging field and could hide my bipolar from most people. And then things got a lot worse and I had to stop working. In the last few months I've had to come to terms with the fact that in a few more weeks I'll be retiring my license to practice because I haven't worked in so long I'd need to re-take my boards to practice and there is no way I could pass the pediatric parts as I haven't treated a child since grad school. (Along with other issues. Including that I don't have the clinical skills I would need to). But giving up that license feels like giving up my right hand; it's a huge part of who and what I am.

I am so glad disability is here and don't take it for granted. But honestly I'd give nearly anything to go back to working and living in my own house that I owned (I live on my mom's property now so she can help me) and just so many things.

It's so hard to have so much taken away by an illness. I totally understand what you are describing. I think it's ok to feel that way and accept it is sometimes hard without trying to "solve" (because it is not something with a real solution) anything.