When I'm up, I have no comprehension of depressed states/episodes. When I am up -- either truly happy or hypomanic -- I believe that this is the way I am and will never be depressed again. And the reverse, too -- when I'm depressed, I believe I will always be that way. People tell me one way to get through a depression is to remember "this too will pass," and that it will go away, and I will be happy again. That does not work for me -- One reason is that I don't want my happy mood to change into a depressive mood. It's very tempting and alluring to stay down! In that state, I know what it's like. I fear getting happy or hypomanic again, because I know I'll crash at some point. To bring reality to my life, I have many years of notebooks of how depressed I was at the time, and books of happiness, too. In another notebook I save very special letters and greeting cards from friends who love me. Looking back on the depression notebooks, I am sometimes fairly shocked at how far I've come! Wow.