I'm with Rainbow. It IS hard to go on when illness has ruined virtually everything in your life. I still miss my old life in the big house on 3 acres, with a good job, enough money, and a bright future with my husband. I miss it and grieve for it every day. But I have family that loves me, I get plenty of emotional support, and I have my disability income. I just have to accept that this is my lot in life and be content with it. For now.