I know I am way too hard on myself, and expect too much of myself. My professors in school always said this, when I was in orientation at work my preceptors said this, my friends say it. I get so down when something I do doesn't go to plan.

And when I make mistakes, it's even worse. I got upset with a friend last night, and I know I will beat myself up about it for days. I will feel like, "Well, this is why I am single," or "This is why people don't want to hang out with me," even though I know those are distortions. The first one isn't; my anger really is the reason why this particular friend and I are just friends and nothing more. And I think I beat myself up even more because of it.

I've been ashamed of my anger all of my life. For the most part, I like myself and how I am with other people. But then I get overwhelmed or frustrated or angry. I think it is something that has been learned from my family. I've tried to work it out in therapy, but I'm afraid that it's very entrenched in me. I don't want to grow old and have no friends or significant other because I'm angry.

Anyway, I am sitting here being hard on myself and feeling ashamed. I guess I needed to talk about it.