Hi all first time posting here. I've struggled with undiagnosed mental issues for awhile and wanted to start unraveling the mystery with this issue.

There is a girl I work with, i was attracted to her from the first time I saw her. A coworker suggested i ask her out, which i did and she said no basically. I had an off and on attraction that over the last few months has become quite intense. Last week sh changed her profile pic and it freaked me out for days. Something so simple and pointless, I find myself fantasizeing about being with her, even though I don't know her well enough to see if we'd be compatible. I guess i'm angry she didnt even give me a chance.

Thing is, this is not the first time I have gone through this. Seven years ago when I broke up with my ex I became obsessed with a girl at my job. Before that I was obsessed with a girl at my school classroom. It's not just limited to real people. I was obsessed with wonder woman of all ******* things, and as far back as 17 I was obsessed with an actress from a b-movie series.
Everytime this happens it causes a ton of emotional turmoil for me. It's pretty god damn draining to be honest.

I do suffer from porn addiction, it was at it's worst in my very late teens when I would be looking up frankly illegal ****. It largely ended after that but I still ge turned on by some violent fantasies. I still have not dealt with the mental scars from the things i've seen and I have been trying the last 7 years to kick it but to no avail.
I don't have many friends, only one and we are fairly surface level. I find it very difficult to connect with others or fit in as my sense of self (what I want to do, what I like, etc) tends to fluctuate. I've never felt like i belonged anywhere, even when I get along with everyone and enjoy what I do.
I spend alot of my life in my head, fantasizing about things. People say im attractive and I'm fairly personable but I have only had 3 relationships and only one deep relationship during which i had a nervous breakdown (i think she had BPD).
My parents never took me to many therapists so all i can say is I was diagnosed with adhd when a child and in my late teens was told I had bipolar though it was only one visit with no sustained observation.
At this point i'm not sure if i'ts aspergers, avoidant, borderline, or even covert narcissism. Don't think i'm schizoid since I want very badly to connect with others.
I'm sorry if this has been long winded, I'm jsut at a point where I need to figure out whats going on. I have searched with no answers and just hate feeling this way for someone who doesn't even really care.