Talked with H this morning, he said he read this thread this morning. I think I wanted him to. He said there are no bald faced lies but only the partial truths. That I am living in an alternate reality and he is not controlling and that I go into this alternate reality when I feel guilty about my actions. Also, when you tell people the partial truth you get the responses back that confirm the things you want to believe--a vicious cycle. Maybe he is right. Since this is the struggle in my mind, I actually directed my T to this thread on the phone recently. I will talk to her about this later this month.