Also, big question: Do you think if I changed my fantasies it could make live sex more pleasurable? Lately, I've been trying to masturbate to more gentler fantasies. It's hard, but what usually goes down is I try to picture gentle sex, get a little rougher if it doesn't work, then try to focus on the gentler sex, back and forth until right as I climax I go back to the image of the gentler sex. Because I've had intense fantasies my whole life, I may expect live sex to be much more intense than it is, and perhaps I just can't come unless a) I'm in control and b) it's intense. But if I practice gentler fantasies, maybe it might be easier to orgasm with a partner if I train my mind to be open to gentler live sex? If that makes sense?