Hi Zedsdead

I would say that the lady you referred to may have had good intentions towards your children's safety but wasn't/couldn't be aware of the whole scenario, and things like that aren't always "black and white". You had covered all bases (just like you said- so well done!!): your daughter knew the safety rules, she had your phone, it was a very brief stop off with you only needing one very important item. And it's not as if you scheduled this/planned on doing this before you went out/it was a regular occurrence, you just found yourself in a situation where you had no another option at that time.
So apart from it not being neglectful in my eyes, you were actually being resourceful in ensuring that your youngest wasn't being neglected in continuing to suffer from nappy rash.
So.........I know you've been through a really tough time, and it has to be hard with three children on your own..........then add to that the strength it took to get out with them and coping as well as you did with such a challenging situation in the grocery store and the resourcefulness you showed in making sure your youngest was not neglected...........hey, I'd say you should be telling yourself how well you did!!!
Please try not to "beat yourself up" over unworthy criticism, you/we already know that you're much better than that!!!

Alison