Staying with grandparents when you are 5 and 6 sounds normal to me and a good thing but is a matter of--your H knows them best--does he trust them? We stayed with one set of grandparents all of the time but never stayed with my other grandmother because she was an alcoholic. If you ask them not to spank them, they shouldn't (perhaps suggest what they are used to--time out, etc.) Most kids will tell you they have been spanked. Once a substitute did it to someone in my class when I was a teacher. That's all the kids could talk about when I returned! (The substitute was never asked back at that school again ever!)