thank you. You are correct about having a lack of compassion for one's self. Some years back, when things were going rather well, I had given myself the permission to make mistakes. It was the best gift I ever gave myself. So hard it is to allow myself that same freedom now. What changed? I suppose it was a crash from mania that did that. Depression obviously was accompanied by a nose dive of self-worth. I suppose, looking at it now this way, that this is one of the blockages I have to being stable. Yes, I would be happy again if I could allow myself to be imperfect.

But gosh, it sure is a compulsion.