i was thinking about this last night

a few months ago... when we had that tough session. when i left early, but marched back in there to ask you if you don't want me to come there anymore. i told you i wish you would tell me to f*** off. you said that it seems some part of me is trying to get you to reject me

is this what i am doing? now that you've said we shouldnt meet if i am using. and i just agreed to it.

if you had suggested this a month ago- i would have freaked out. FREAKED. OUT.

but i simply looked at you and said okay

it made me wonder if this was my end goal. to get you to tell me i can't come there

it seems pretty obvious that that is whats going on here