I don't want to cut them off (I did it before and felt very bad about it), but they also don't want me to have my own life. I want for us to have clear boundaries. To have my own life, for them theirs, and we interact based on that. But my parents think they own me like a slave and I owe them. They keep guilt tripping me all the time. I wouldn't mind going home if I knew I would enjoy their company and feel free to express my gratitude and live my life as I wish (they try to control me and I am thousands of miles away). But they are very negative and intrude in others' lives all the time and want you to express gratitude against your will. I have married siblings and they keep intruding in their lives as if they are not responsible adults who have their own families and lives. The other day I asked my father "how are you today?" (he had a minor health setback), he replied "very bad". How do you expect a child will feel when his/her father says something like that? He likes to make us feel bad and guilty, I know his techniques.