I'm really struggling. I want control over my pain. My boyfriend doesn't understand it and I'm afraid to express myself to him anymore.

I want to cut so badly and can't get it out of my head no matter what I do. It's only been a few days since the last time.

He'll be so upset again. He told me he doesn't know if he can stay with someone who is actively cutting.

I don't like my life and I have such little control over my environment right now. I don't know how to hold on until it gets better. I don't want to ruin my relationship.