She wasn't saying that I should stay married whatsoever. What she is said is not to give up so quick, be patient and try to give it some time. She also said that she would work with me to be a better man for the next relationship if my marriage didn't work. She was being very impartial to everything. I actually switched therapists once. The one I have now seems very enthusiastic about helping me get through things. I understand my marriage might be over, but I seen marriages work when one person puts in the effort and by action ended up getting their spouse back. I wasn't perfect in my marriage. I was lazy, never wanted to do what she wanted to do, texted another female...I put myself in her sposition and I could now see why she felt the way she did. If I wouldn't have done any of that, I wouldn't be in the position I am today and I know that for a fact. I know everyone on this board says to move on, divorce because that's the easiest thing to do. I see a lot of people on this forum giving up on their marriage because things are bad at the moment or they don't hear what they want to hear from their spouse. Strong marriages are because couples got through the tough challenging times. Am I saying that my marriage is going to work, no im not. All of this could be a wasted effort, but it's not wasted if you care and really do want to make the effort. I also seen where one spouse HATES the other, and within a year they found love again.

Guess my point is, is that people tend to give up so easy on their marriage. When I made a vow, I planned on sticking with it as long as I can until all options are exhausted. I'm not going to wait forever but I also don't want to give up too soon. I know for a fact that she will not initiate the divorce. Besides the medical benefits that she receives from me being in the military and the over a grand I give her for my children a month, she pays all of her own bills. She works 3 jobs now, going to school and takes care of our children. I could respect that but I feel things would have been easier if we put all of our problems, put them on the table and live a good life. We would be set. If she doesn't want that, only time will tell.