You said you both want monogamy, but he actually sounds poly. Are you both familiar with this philosophy because I'd say it's not very mainstream. The idea of you being a house & him returning to you sounds like this. Problem is this will not work with you being monogamous. You'd have to study & believe in compersion, which goes hand in hand with polyamory.
If he gets jealous, jealousy is an emotion that filled with other emotions that need to be explored like anger, self esteem, trust etc.
so how would he feel if there was no house to come back to? If you think he's pushing himself to be someone he's not....you answered your own question. Honestly you just did. So your next question is what will you do with this information.
So be a bit selfish here. What do you want? What can you tolerate? What can you accept & not accept & then act on these values with self confidence & your own self worth.
You deserve to give that to yourself....bec only you can.