kimmy i think this is the best decision for you given your history with him. but like ozzie said, you could still plan to see him once in a rare while just to alleviate that guilt. another way to alleviate that guilt is if you can be peripherally involved (at whatever level you have time/energy for -- not saying you should take on too much here OK?) in helping him find care -- maybe offer to make a couple phone calls or inquiries about a nursing home or in-house patient care. Whether or not you end up being the one to set him up with something doesn't matter, the point is by just taking a half hour or so to make a few calls you can feel involved and still maintain a safe distance, thus alleviating your sense of guilt and whatever moral senses of obligation you may feel about him being family, etc. just be sure to keep it low key -- that is, don't create the expectation for yourself or others that doing this means YOU will take responsibility entirely on yourself for "setting him up" -- you're just going to make a call or two, and if that leads to something, great, and if not, well, you tried, and that's the end of that.

just an idea that popped into my head -- take it if it works, trash it if it doesn't!