Your story sounds a lot like mine, just the details are different.

I can't handle the accusations and the blame. She accuses me of things so horrible, that if they were true, I couldn't live with myself.

She has definitely affected my own sense of who I am as a person in a negative way.

I can fight back against the accusations in my head, but after years go by, that stuff starts to stick. She's repeated these stories so many times that it's now hard for me to even know what's true anymore.

She is in between meds right now, she had to stop taking one because of an allergy.

It is horrible. Your story just sounded so familiar.