Thanks all for the replies. This topic is very challenging for me because my parents don't want to listen or understand how we feel. Yes, all my siblings feel the same way, but no one dares to challenge them because they become defensive and more aggressive, and begin to blame us and accuse us for being ungrateful. They think they are the best parents ever, and no one can change their view of themselves. I've tried many times to tell them I have my own life, but I keep repeating this because they don't listen.

I guess I wasn't lucky in the sense that my parents haven't given me the freedom to develop my character. They suppressed me all the time because my father thought that we don't have to repeat his mistakes. But that's exactly why we are not sociable and strong in life. There is a scene in the series Lost where John Locke brings Charlie (a heroin addict) to an emerging moth from a cocoon. John told Charlie that he could take his knife and help the moth emerging, but this would make the moth very weak to live. This scene resonated with me because I think my father used his "knife" to help me emerge from my "cocoon". He thought he helped me, but actually he didn't. On the contrary he harmed me and my siblings for being overprotective. My father has always told us that people are out there to get you which I think has affected how we viewed people and the interaction with them.

As I mentioned before, financially my father has made everything available to us, but I've always felt that in return he wants us to sell our freedom and lives for him. That he wanted to live through us the life that he hasn't. My mother is naive when it comes to struggles in life because she has never worked and has no idea what is right and wrong outside the home, but she is the most difficult person on earth to deal with if you sit with her. She wants everything to be about her. Even if someone asks me a question when we are sitting together like when I'm visiting, she jumps to answer. She doesn't allow anyone to talk. As I said, I am certain 95% that she is a narcissist.

I just want to mention this story because it keeps haunting me. Once we invited the priest for a lunch at our home when I was maybe 6 or 7 years old, and while my parents are busy serving the lunch in the kitchen, I told the priest a story on the table, I forgot what it was, but I remember that the priest was impressed, and thus he told my father what I told him. Immediately my father took off his belt from around his waist and wanted to hit me with it, but the priest intervened and prevented him with surprise on his face. I'm not sure why he wanted to hit me and what I said and even if I felt bad at the time, but every time I remember this incident I feel so mad and angry and frustrated. He has always felt the urge to "discipline" us, whether with his tongue or by his belt or hand. Sometimes I try to give them a pass that maybe they are/were ignorant, but others I cannot. It a simple empathy and sympathy act to treat children gently. I don't understand how parents could be aggressive with their most fragile children.

It's true now I am very careful with children not to hurt them, and my niece and nephew love me because I always talk to them nice and make them feel good about themselves (mostly we talk on Skype). I have other reasons why I do not want to bring children in this life, but the idea of them suffering for whatever cause (be it the upbringing, diseases, natural disasters, ... etc) is the underlying reason.

Anyway, I've been struggling in the last couple of months in finding a job and I feel socially isolated, so, I'm planning to go home for a while, but I'm not planning to stay. My biggest mistake was that I didn't get married before I immigrated. I wouldn't leave if I were married, and probably I would have done better because my social isolation has brought me to my knees so to speak.