I've been breaking down crying past couple of days. I'm crying now just to see a response to my thread. I'm not eating much. I haven't even brushed my teeth today.

Maybe if I took an extra dose of my antidepressant. Maybe if I had some wine with food. Maybe if I took a pain pill. I just want to change how I feel.

My boyfriend is having a harder time walking. I don't get to go home because he is needing more snd more help. The two programs that were supposed to provide care for him aren't working out as they should have, so I'm not getting away for breaks like was supposed to happen.

My sister used to light up my life when she would call. Her life has gotten hard, and now it's depressing sometimes to listen to her. She's trying harder than I am.

I'm spending too much time in a rut. I keep rallying and doing good for short intervals, but can't sustain that. Keep slipping down.