I am 25 years old. I have never had sex, kissed anyone, or been on a date. I hear how people talk about people with that kind of relationship history; when a man does something bad a lot of people say things like "I bet he's never touched a woman" and act like that if you haven't had success with women that that must mean there's something bad about you. It makes me feel humiliated and emasculated. People talk about having sex as "becoming a man" and at 25 I think I should be considered an adult and a man already.

My history with women has not been good. In High School I was a little shy with girls and was not overly interested in dating back then. I asked a girl out my freshman year in college. We had gotten along before then but in hindsight she didn't take me very seriously. She was a Junior. She made fun of me to other people after I asked her out and didn't want to be my friend anymore and seemed embarrassed of me. I asked two more girls out after that in college. They were both very nice about it, although one had been a good friend for about a year and didn't want to be my friend anymore afterward. The other one was a girl I met in a class who was very attractive who I got a bit friendly with. I just asked her because I thought I would regret it if I didn't and wasn't expecting her to say yes so I wasn't very sad when she didn't. Last year I got a little interested in a girl at graduate school who I got along with on a basic level and was always friendly with me. When I started going out of my way to talk to her a little more she basically ignored me and deleted me on facebook. I never touched her, made any sexually oriented comments, or did anything that would be considered harassment or stalking; I just made sure to say hello and ask how she was doing when I would see her in places we both regularly went. I sent her one message after the fact saying that I hope I hadn't done anything to offend her or make her uncomfortable. She did not respond. I don't know what I did to make her hate me so much that she can't even tolerate basic association with me.

I do not understand why girls dislike me so much. People tell me I am smart and funny and although I can be a bit shy most people think I have good social skills. I am insecure about how I look due to having a bit of a boyish face and being thin, but objectively I know I am probably average looking. I would have been fine being friends with most of these girls. With the last girl I would even take her just being indifferent towards me. People act like if a man doesn't want to keep being friends with a woman after she turns him down for a date that he is a jerk, but they can completely drop me after I ask them out. I probably take stuff like this a bit personally because of stuff with my mother.

I found out that it is quite abnormal for men my age to have not had sex (only 3%) and am starting to fear that I will be alone forever. Women will expect me to have sexual experience I do not have. I want to be mutually in love and get married more than just about anything. I am especially depressed about this lately and am getting to the point where I wish I didn't have to get out of bed in the morning. I am also living with my parents while I finish my thesis for graduate school which is also making me depressed due to my relationship with them and compounding my feelings of emasculation.