t, i have been sitting here for the past few minutes trying to do another active with The Predator and it's just not going anywhere. I keep on seeing him as a part of me that has tricked me into thinking stuff that isn't true. but then at the same time, i think that just maybe he helped me see some stuff that is true that i have been steadfastly avoiding seeing. and then i start to feel nervous so i stop. we need to have a really difficult discussion next week and it's all about you and i and this convoluted thing they call the therapeutic relationship. i kinda wish i'd asked for a different day so i could be your last appointment of the day and schedule extra time.... i think we're gonna need it.... but i scheduled for the middle of the day instead cuz i'm off work that day. while i want a longer session, i think me coming there not tired from a long day of work will be better even if i can have only 50 mins.

when i heard your voice on the phone the other day, you sounded so happy. it made me smile. part of me thinks you were expecting me to call sooner rather than later, but then another part of me thinks you thought i wouldn't call at all. I'm really glad I'll be seeing you a week from today. I feel like I've been away for months and it's been only 16 days!!