I had parents who were very strict and controlling we were treated like slaves to fetch and carry for them and told what to do who we could see etc They behaved like they owned us.My father would get violent and physically hit us if we disobeyed him.He died when I was 16,since then I spend 35 years being verbally,emotionally and psychologically,physically abused by my sister who is a narcissist.My mother is also to a lesser degree a narcissist.She has always continued to treat me as a source to fill her needs,physical and emotional needs,she manipulates and makes me guilty and tells me off as if I am still a child, the more you do for her the more she expects and she doesn't see if I am ill and need a rest she only demands more.I get exhausted.

Two years four months ago I cut my sister out off my life,my mother and I fell out over it and I cut her out of my life for 3 months without talking to her,seeing her or telephoning her.No contact.Since then she has been kinder and less demanding,she saw I managed perfectly well without her and didn't need her and she lost her hold over me.I think she realises I am a person in my own right and that she has better be kinder to me and less demanding or else I will cut her off completely like I have my sister.

Mr Stranger you can ring your parents less often and stress to them that you are an adult responsible for yourself and not for them.You can explain that their expectations are too high,that you have made your life in another country and that they have no right to make demands that you be there for them.You do not owe them and they don't own you and you are not their personal slave.They can hire help if they need it.Don't feel guilty because you owe it to yourself to live your life on your own terms and if you must have a relationship with your parents then make sure they are not overwhelming you with emotional blackmails cos that isn't right or fair.I agree with the other poster who said cutting them off for 3-6 months might make them appreciate you and treat you with more respect like it did with my mother who is more respectful now!Good Luck with this,know that you are not alone and many of us have this issue with family and parents specifically.