Hi everyone I am still alive but not doing to well. Can't sleep or if I do sleep I wake up with my heart reaching drenched in sweat.

Life here is not to great. The other day I got a text from her abusive boyfriend with a big bite mark. Then I got a text from her with finger marks where he tried to strangle her. She had to bit him to get him to let go. Most of her stuff was already in her blazer but her birth control and her makeup was still at his house. His mom said unless she gave them $65 she would not get any of it back. She came home and we talked and we thought finely it's over. But nope. He kept texting me saying he was going to harm us and that he was going to call the police and say that my husband is a drug dealer. That was on a Friday.

I found out Monday she went back to him. So I told her I was going to disconnect her phone and the blazer which she drives will be sold at by the end of the month. She did show up her one day. To get some clothes. I thought it was interesting that she had her overnight bag with her but didn't say anything

So with not getting enough sleep the high dose of pred, the pain, the stress etc I have had enough. I had a really bad night either Wednesday night or Thursday night and she calls me at 8 am and went off on me. Saying stuff like I didn't know if she was dead or alive or if she slept in the park etc. and I will not know if because I am turning off the phone. I lost it. She is only thinking of herself and no one else and she will end up killing me.

So I am not answering her calls or texts. Then she starts calling the house phone. My doctors are so worried I am going to have a stroke it's not funny but she could car less. And the sad thing is ken and I talked about when phone. I was going to tell her since her dog is going into surgery that I will would either let her keep it on till after the surgery or until she got her tax return. Then she attacked me.

Last Friday she physically attacked me to.

Sorry I have not been here for you guys. You mean the world to me. I have two children and I tried to be the best mom I could but I can not keep up with the abuse.

I see the rhemy this up and coming week I don't want to but unless I go in she will not give me my meds.

Ken has been working strange hours so that's partly why I am not sleeping well.

I feel like a failure

I don't have the energy to address everyone but I hope everyone is ok. I feel bad for Christina and Jan and Liz and everyone. I also worry that services that we require will be taken away with this new President

Take care everyone and just know I care about each and everyone of you