<<The meds is an issue that will take a while and it already has >>
What does this mean.

You don't want to be clouded? You are miserable right now, and very depressed. Don't you think trying some new meds would be worth a shot, to get you feeling a little better?

You are not taking away a crisis counselor away from helping someone else, they have tons of those people at call centers and on stand by. You deserve to be helped too! How about thinking a little more about how to care for yourself? Be a good mom to yourself? Take care of you as if you were your child. Wouldn't you want the best care and all the care for the little you that you could get? I think you would. You seem to be a very caring person and I expect you do take of others much better than you do yourself. I totally get that. But it comes a time when you have neglected yourself so much that you can help others and that's a hard thing to accept. So look at taking care of you 1st for a change then you can focus on others in a healthy way.