My work situation.

I'm always the outsider. The quiet one that doesn't fit in. It's been that way for all my life. It's all I know.

But now... Things are good. I've got three awesome coworkers that I get along with very well. We talk, we joke, we laugh, we spent our lunch breaks together. One of them is an extreme extrovert - she talks to everyone about everything. Sometimes that annoys me a little, but ever since she started working at our office, I've also had more contact with other coworkers. I'm almost starting to feel like a normal person. (Except for the fact that I have no social life whatsoever outside of work, of course.)

And it scares the hell out of me, because I know it won't last And it's going to be a terrible crash when it all falls apart. Because it always does. Either they will find out I am really boring and not worth their time, or they'll just leave. Or the new girl starting next month will be a complete ***** who ruins everything.

I've been feeling anxious a lot lately and I couldn't figure out why. My job is not exactly stressful and I actually enjoy going to the office these days. But maybe this is why. Knowing it will end soon.

(A few years ago I moved to a new city, started a new job in a fun team. I felt accepted, like I fit in. For a few weeks. Then new people came, everything changed and it got so bad that I eventually became depressed again. I'm still struggling to get over that - I can't handle another crash.)