Quote:
Originally Posted by Só leigheas
I know why I travel over to this part of PC. I know why I "wake up" and I'm here. I know what draws me to wanting to confess everything...but I can't.
I want to talk about it, but I can't and therefore I don't. I can't admit to the evidence strung out before my eyes and I can't accept what it means and what it's telling me.
Admitting that admits too much and I just can't.
I don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe it's some weak attempt to see if somebody else understands. Maybe it's self reflection. Maybe I just don't know how else to express this. Either way, it's here and I'm having a hard time figuring out how to survive like this.
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Nobody likes to admit that they are mentally ill at first, nor not having any control. I went through that...and some of the Others haven't as of yet
Just like admitting and accepting that one is an alcoholic in AA....we must also admit and accept our mental condition to begin recovery.
I have DID like I'm an alcoholic (all of us)....a very big bitter fruit to swallow- but swallow you must. Now that I've accepted that...I'm not stressing no more over that aspect of it. Disbelief has turned into belief.
It took us about a year vexing over the possibility and denial of, but now we're good even though a few of the Others are borderline denial as of yet....but at least the system isn't stressed.
I hope that you find your peace...I gravitated here, too, trying to make sense of it all. But this is where all the puzzle pieces finally makes sense. Good luck with all that hon. Small steps.
