Quote:
Originally Posted by psychehedone
Can you find a therapist outside of your college? You're in a complicated, confusing situation and it would really help if you could find a professional to help you untangle it. We aren't trained mental health professionals and don't have your extensive history, so we're limited in how helpful we can be.  As a fairly recent college graduate, you have my full empathy.
At my university, the counselors saw a lot of students. They were often recent graduates trying to gain more experience before joining a more specialized, rigorous practice. They were temporary stop-gaps who made sure you had someone to talk to until you decided to get more professional support. They were not really in a position to provide personal, extensive care since they saw lots of students on an as-needed basis. Often they were not in a position to offer a thorough diagnosis either. Some are social workers, some are psychologists. It's best to get a diagnosis that combines the assessment of a psychologist and psychiatrist who look through all the available information. At least that was my case.
So I was quickly referred to an off-campus therapist and psychiatrist. I had to get a diagnosis from a neuropsychologist off campus first. The psychiatrist and psychologist I saw later were able to schedule longer, regular appointments and provide more personalized, professional care. They limit how many patients they see and have scheduled appointments, so they are in a position to provide better care.
How are your grades? What is your course load like? Is it balanced? From my experience, professors and advisors want to make sure that students graduate and with reasonably good grades. As such, they might be risk-averse when it comes to recommending the courses and assignments you take on. It's nothing personal.
I took time off from university and wanted to take challenging courses during my first semester back. My advisor told me that I was free to do what I wanted. However, she advised me to think carefully about what I was getting into given my previous grades, health issues, and the challenging nature of the upcoming courses. If I wanted to take them, perhaps I should lighten the rest of my course load? I was headstrong and didn't listen at all. I took on four hard courses. I got the worst grades of my entire college experience.
Hopefully this was somewhat helpful. I'd be happy to talk more if you'd like to go over specifics.
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This was very helpful, thank you, psychehedone! It is good to know what my advisor's intentions might have been. I also took a break from college but when I returned I didn't seek help from anyone. This semester and the past semester are the first semesters that I have even really gotten advice from an advisor. I'm starting to thing I may be unnecessarily fearful or avoidant in all my interactions, not just in those directly related to my father issues. (And that I have more ingrained issues than I thought… )
My plan upon my return to college was a steady upward trajectory, not only in grades, but in personal development. I have and am continuing to accomplish that, and the senior thesis is part of that upward trajectory.
(Though I confess that I have no ability to create meaning because I'm depressed as hell, so I am using good grades etc as a measure for success…)
And it is equally helpful to know about my counselor's potential motivations.
I think I might just be blunt and ask my thesis advisor if he is being careful with me and why he decided to do the thesis with me. It seems that while my childhood is causing issues, as an adult I am merely afraid / unable to communicate, and understanding others' motivations would be helpful...
This is all very illuminating...