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Originally Posted by minúsculo
Now, online when I look for advice about how to make therapy work, I often find something like this: "You must apply what you have learned in therapy to your life." This raises the question: how does one learn anything in psychotherapy? My career is education; I've spent years teaching. So I think I know something about learning, but it beats me how one can learn anything in psychotherapy. It's not a class. Can anyone help me with this?
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What an interesting question!
I've been in-and-out of therapy for 17 years. I found it largely useless for the first 10 years. It wasn't until I really broke down that I was able to benefit from it.
When I broke down several years ago, I was overwhelmed and unable to function in any meaningful way. I'm not sure what role this played in my ability to benefit from therapy for the first time. Perhaps it was my emotional state, my new therapist, or a combination of the two (I was hospitalized and given a new therapist on discharge).
My therapist doesn't really 'teach' me anything. He never gives me advice. What he does is ask me pointed questions that get me to think about what I'm saying, thinking or doing that enable me to teach myself. He also models the type of balanced, emotionally stable behaviour I strive to achieve for myself.
I was diagnosed with BPD several years ago, by the way. For those of you were were given this diagnosis as well, there is hope. Don't believe those who say there's no cure. There is remission - I am living proof! That's not to say that I don't still suffer, but my highs are not as high and my lows are not as low. Slowly but surely I am achieving stability.