I am
sad is because I falsely believed that sharing (self-disclosing) my feelings and situation with family and best friend would help me.
I am
bored that nothing has brought
radical improvement in my depression and anxiety over the last two years.
I am
resigned that I have tried everything possible. Each change is a tiny positive but there hasn't been a
radical transformation.
I might as well get on with my life. Whether or not I
try to "cure" my depression or just ignore it...
eventually life gets better. This has been my experience.
I have read that depression tends to subside eventually WITH or WITHOUT treatment. Can this be true? For me this
has been true.
I have a healthy lifestyle now and have been coping. I do believe in the efficacy of DBT and CBT so maybe there will be a cumulative effect if I keep working with these modalities.
I will come back on Psych Central when I have something to give. Right now I have nothing. I am like a half empty glass that needs to start living like a half full glass.
I am not giving up. I am not giving in.
I am going on. I don't want to talk about being depressed or anxious anymore because part of my new plan and strategy is to
stop talking about it. I have done this in the past and it just seems that eventually I get into a new life situation, things improved, and finally I just "forget" I am depressed.

I have never read about this but after a time I just get sick and tired of feeding depression and living such a BORING and limited life.
In the past I have accomplished a lot while just putting depression in a box in the back of my mind. It didn't go away completely. I just took it out of the driver's seat. And that is what I feel like doing now. SHOVE OVER, DEPRESSION, I AM TAKING THE WHEEL. This is NOT EASY. But it is doable.
I think there is a spiritual aspect to this...call it destiny or karma...but when I 'let go' sometimes that is the final treatment that works. Buddhists believe that when we are going through tough times we are working out our karma so we should not resent it...because we will start to feel better if we persevere. Maybe...there is something to this.
I don't know if this makes sense.

I hope it works for me to just go on.