I totally agree with Trace here. In order to help you your therapist needs to know more about what's going on. I understand not being able to talk about certain things, there are certain things from my childhood that I remember vividly, but have never told anyone because I can't get the words out. I want to, I just haven't been able do it. These memories haunt me daily. I'm determined to do it.

But this isn't about me, it's about you. I just want you to understand that I understand where you are coming from.

Do you keep a journal? Maybe today journal your thoughts about your alters and how they impact you and share that with your therapist at your next visit? That way you don't have to try to verbalize it, your therapist and can start working with you on this?

From what I've read about meds when it comes to trauma, they are often only needed for a period of time, maybe a couple years, but there is hope that eventually you will be able wean off of them. Additionally, the meds will probably help you be able to discuss your alters with your therapist. Meds have different impacts on everyone, and it can take awhile to find the right one.

I also want to point out the text crisis program that Trace posted about recently. Crisis Text Line If you need to "talk" but have an issue verbalizing your concerns, this may be a good option for you.

Anyway -- just joining in to lend my input. Be good to yourself and please find a way to let your therapist know what's going on. Maybe just print this thread off and hand it to him? Hugs out to you!