Hi immscared,

I have read your posts and can feel how distressed and confused you are. I do disagree with one of the replies you received as I truly believe that one does not choose to be homosexual. One may choose to experiment with the homosexual experience, but a true homosexual or bisexual is born that way. After having spoken to very many homosexual men and women, each have said that they knew that they were "different" from other when at a young age. Also, many of them were in denial as they did not want to be homosexual or bisexual and chose to live a life as a heterosexual and never finding true peace as they always felt they were doing something wrong when with the opposite sex. Some even married to "cure" themselves. Not surprisingly, each marriage ended in divorce. Eventually each of these people, with or without, the help of a therapist, became to accept their sexual preference.

I believe that Ziggy gave you some solid advice. Listen to him as he is quite knowledgeable and wise. Calm down and just allow yourself to be. See a therapist that specializes in alternative lifestyles perhaps. Maybe they can help you sort out your thoughts and fears.

Every one of the homosexual and bisexual people that I have met (very, very many) and talked to, admitted that they are comfortable with their lifestyle, but would rather be heterosexual because their lifestyle came with so many complications and scorn from many people who are only so happy to judge them.

I asked one homosexual male if he felt he chose to be homosexual. His reply "Why would I choose to live such a difficult life and risk losing friends, loved ones, and my career. I live this lifestyle because it is the only way I can live and feel like I can be who I am.:"

My husband and I have a very good friend that we have known since we were young. She admitted to me that she thought that she was gay while we were taking a walk and asked what she should do. I suggested to her that if she strongly believed herself to be a lesbian to meet others of that lifestyle to see if it felt right to her. She had dated many men but said that even holding hands with them felt very wrong to her. Today, she is very happy and in a homosexual relationship with a nurse. They have been together for years.

If you would feel comfortable, send me a private message. I would love to get to know you and maybe I could share some experiences with you so that you can calm down and just be who you are.

Hope I have been of some help. I know that I am a heterosexual female, but I also have a lot of insight regarding alternative lifestyles. This has been a gift from our friend who has given us the opportunity to meet very many people of other lifestyles. When I used to be ignorant (for lack of a better term), I am now enlightened.

Be Blessed and Take Care,
Peacemaker ISherri)