I'm with a good person now for 5 years. I keep wondering about some of my exs. Our relationships were bad... Or was it me idk. I know for a fact tho at least the last two exes were abusive. Exes include fps (favorite people) and bfs. Sometimes I feel like my current s.o isn't enough and that something is missing and I feel empty. The thoughts of them sort of like an obsession. I don't love them. I love the idea of them. Idk if I'm making any sense.

I think we love bad men because somehow we think we can fix them or look to them to fix us. After all they always somehow know what's best for us. I have a fetish for bad guys... Sometimes I wouldn't mind getting slapped around but at the same time I feel I get myself into these situations so that I look to be saved and to feel sorry for. Looking to be saved feels nice. I feel validated until the nice guy gets boring and thus the cycle continues. At least from my experiences.