It's no one's job except perhaps one's T to point out when one's patterns are abrasive to others IF one is working on improving interpersonal issues in their therapy. And then again, working on interpersonal stuff isn't everyone's goal and that's fine too. Just no bloody need for personal attacks, geez.

I learn through modelling in therapy. T models and coaches me on assertiveness, other social skills like apologizing gracefully without overapologising for things not my fault.

T also calls me out when I'm engaging in unhealthy patterns in relationships, which helps because it's easier for her to be objective.

We discuss boundaries and so I learn how to set and maintain certain boundaries. I can read about boundaries and all, but it helps when I see T apply them. I can learn from the word choices used, the tone, how she structures the boundary setting.

Therapy for me is very much social skills training, I feel.