You have never "sucked the life out of me". Instead, we have shared enough about each other lives that I feel a bit of comradery with you. I know that you have a lot of stress in your life and maybe not enough fun. Doesn't it seem like fun is harder to find when you get older? Since I recently made up with my H, the best fun I have is when he is flirtng with me. We are on a serious budget so we have to find joy in the little things as much as we can. But it can be hard when we do the same thing day after day and are isolated. Today is the first day of Spring and I bet it is beautiful where you live. Do you walk much in the sunshine? Sunshine helps me combat depression.....(hugs)