It's good that you at least got out. <3 The fact that you're reaching out shows some hope.

I've been there.

As far as the suicidal ideation, I've been there. It still pops in my head now and then. I've known quite a few people who have killed themselves and it still haunts me. I try to think of that when I think about killing myself.

I wish that I had a brilliant way with words the help you feel better.

You're not alone with this. Depression is a pain in the arse and it oozes into every crevice of life.