Don't allow yourself to self loath because of this. Having a lasting relationship has been a huge challenge for a lot of people. I happened to watch a interview with Debbie Reynolds and she had three failed marriages and finally said, "no more". One of her husbands gambled away not only all his money but all her money, years of saving from all the work she did. At that time she was older and had three children of her own and was also taking care of his children so she had to reinvent herself and go back out and work and started that work on the stage. She was not a spring chicken when she did that either.

Also, if you think about so many stars, they seem like they have it all and yet they experience a lot of relationship challenges, and often these are made so public. I don't know how they manage with no privacy tbh. Maintaining a long term relationship is most definitely a challenge, countless individuals will tell you that from their own experiences with that challenge. I have been married for coming on 37 years and I have been through a great deal in my marriage. It can be VERY HARD.

My advice, finish school and invest in yourself and don't beat yourself up so much, learn to be your own best friend, be forgiving of self and know there is no such thing as perfect in anything.