I replied to my biological mother saying that her response is disappointing but I will not contact her again. She sent back another reply thanking me. She says she means me no ill will and that it is for the best. That may be so but it is still a crushing rejection which hurts deeply. I avoided drinking last night though, I just watched a movie with my wife and went to bed.

Trying to stay away won't be an issue really... why would I want to be around someone who makes it clear they have rejected me, even before my birth?

That is true, although it is love which is occasionally tempered with emotional turmoil, sometimes even violence (my son has threatened us with knives). But its a love which gets me through, nevertheless.

I find that giving myself aims in life helps me to cope. I am currently writing a book about computer programming, and I really like that. I am slightly autistic and it appeals to my logical nature.

Thanks for the virtual hugs. Going to a meeting sometimes helps. But it isn't a blanket solution to psychological distress. There are not meetings going on all the time. And I can't always attend them as I have family and work. And very occasionally meetings can be harmful instead of helpful.