I feel better and worse than yesterday. Better because i don't fear losing my mind and going full blown manic anymore. Worse because i finally came down with the Virus i was dragging along for weeks and too hypomanic to cure. Now i will be missing at work because the doctor básically forbid that i go to work and i feel just so guilty about missing out on work because i could be healthy by now hadnt i been running around hypomanically all week long and had i just spent the weekend in bed instead of partying. I feel like such a jerk. I know better but cannot stop myself from going out in those moments. I am still so wired and lying in bed is hell. My thoughts are racing i wanna do a hundred things but i know i have to stay Where i am if i don't really want to end up seriously ill. I am crying and angry with myself and dont know how to survive three days at home curing my Body while hypomania is rummaging through my head Telling me to do this and do that. My bad conscience is killing me. Have you ever been there?