I have a similar situation.

It didn't escalate to this level over night. It is years in the making.

Is it a personality disorder or just a person whose been driven mad from stress and frustration? Or are they the same thing?

You do not have to resolve to live in misery and pray for death. There are infinite ways you can act and react. Your behavior is causing and allowing her to act the way she is acting. For example: (and I am not saying you should) If you sock her in the kisser when she opens a nasty mouth, she will change what she is doing. You will teach her to shut up or she will promptly call the police and divorce you.

I am not advocating violence, just saying, you are perpetuating your own misery by your actions.

We've been seeing a marriage t, I now see my own psychiatrist, and I told my h to just forget having sex with me because that is our trigger. I don't know how this will resolve.