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Old Mar 21, 2017, 11:22 AM
s4ndm4n2006's Avatar
s4ndm4n2006 s4ndm4n2006 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,052
Quote:
Originally Posted by sakal View Post
My husband and I can't get along for more than a few weeks at a time. It's been like this for 4 years. We've been married for 2. I keep hoping this will change and we do talk and try to find resolution for our issues, but they don't seems to stick for very long, and then we start the cycle all over again.
He's a doctor and practices psychotherapy, and I don't have the luxury of going to marital counseling with him because he refuses to go.
He feels like no one is going to be able to tell him anything he doesn't already know, and that he is one of the best at what he does.
I feel like he is the judge and the jury, and if anyone were to hear some of the things he says to me, they would certainly wonder how he can save everyone else's marriage, but not his own.
Never-the-less, I am very sad; overwhelmingly sad. I feel hopeless. I know I should let go of this marriage, but I can't seem to bring myself to do it.
Our relationship is like 2 magnets; we are either completely and blissfully stuck to each other, or we are at each other's throats. It's sick.
He has threatened to leave a dozen times, he threatens me with a lot of things, and I think sometimes, he does it to watch me try and pull him back again. And, I always do.
sorry this was so lengthy....
I believe the biggest obstacle to your getting past this and fixing things is his refusal to admit that he might not "know everything" there is to know about marriage problems. I believe he is in denial because since he is a psychotherapist, he can't accept that he is capable of having a bad marriage. Granted it's deep seated denial, in that consciously he knows things are bad but there's something in him that is keeping him from admitting fully that it's true. he wont' fully give himself entirely to getting things done to fix the problems because of this.

I say he needs to face the truth and give in or you need to move on. You can't go through life repeating this cycle and have him only half -a$$ing it to fix things.