Shellbe,
I'm sorry that you are in so much pain. I know what you mean about guessing your T's motives as I do the same. Sometimes I ask him directly why he asked a certain question, but a lot of the time I just automatically start wondering and the topic gets changed so I never end up asking. One thing that has helped me is to write down my thoughts in between sessions and just give it to my T. I'm sorry that I don't really have the answers, but I hope it helps you to know that you are not alone.
Take care of yourself!
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