you're welcome mckell

it' s hard isn't it? this feeling of longing... it was created back when no one held us when we should have been held. No one taught how to feel secure... the opposite happened and we are left needy. i want to fix that, but i don't want to go from needing desperately to complete self reliance in one step... T says he doesn't expect that either... but what i want is to be able to get that need met through him for now... i need him to reach in through the wall and touch my hand.. let me know he's really there. i want him to make it safe to cry, to be vulnerable. i want him to hold me emotionally... just for now. i want this as a tool and not as a crutch. i just need.. long for that emotional contact.