my god sister... you could switch a few details and be talking about my life too.. scary.

my family has "secret" gatherings, reunions and such... they dont tell me because i live far away and they say i would ruin it by "complaining" about not being able to be there. They don't want me to ruin things.

yup scapegoat.. that's what T says

i am sorry it's this way for you.. i truly am. ((((sister)))

the one thing i learned that helped at all was to just give myself what i needed when i could and stopped even hoping for getting it from them... like wanting them to be proud of me, i just stopped expecting it ad tried to be proud of myself. It still hurts that they aren't proud of me... and i don't stop wanting it, but giving it to myself is better than standing there hoping and not getting.

many blessings
namaste