You were only about 12 when your parents divorced and you were left with a single parent that was most likely "angry" about his marriage breaking up.
You were in no way mature enough to have the maturity level that was expected of you. And when you were up all night cleaning and "doing" and being active what that means is you were "trying" to gain a sense of control anyway you could. Unfortunately, your father was blind to observing your behavior and "backing" off. And your siblings were all about themselves and not old enough to have the capacity to support you, so they fell into criticizing you, that is what your dad was encouraging in his parenting.
When you are "reviewing" it's really important that you pay attention to your age and lack of maturity. You need to be able to "grieve" your loss at that time and remind yourself how young you were.
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