Quote:
Originally Posted by prefabsprout
IMO I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing being 'monitored' as such - perhaps it all hinges on our definitions of monitoring and what is/isn't acceptable to us.
For instance the church thing - some people do become fixated with religion as part of their MI, and upping involvement may be a sign that their MH is a cause for concern. Note I am absolutely not saying this is the case with you Hopingtrying, but it was the case with me in the past so for my H me going to church often would be a red flag.
While I must admit I was concerned about your H reading this thread if that was okay with you then that is all that counts - and if it's got you two talking more honestly then I think that's got to be good. Hope that this thread has helped  |
The thread helped me this way, after seriously considering leaving--I know I just can't and I mean that mostly in a good way. So I doubt I will ever entertain that thought again. It was an attention getter though...
TBH, when H and my son exchanged words on March 6th, it really did trigger me. As I said in another thread, it was like a replay of some of the events that happened between the two of them about 4 years ago which contributed to my attempt 2 years ago. I think the parallels scared me. I don't want to be in that bad of a way ever again. It really did escalate in a crazy way but, yes, in my stressed out state and under threat of divorce, we did talk about things. I suppose he looked because I was not OK but the fact that he looked and was hiding it totally fueled my paranoia. Picture this, he keeps saying things that make me think he is looking (he was, he even called me Hopingtrying 3 days ago) while I am secretly taking steps toward divorce. My imagination was going mad--I was actually imagining us as Mr. and Mrs. Smith with me trying to damage him through divorce whilst he is gaslighting me about this thread and other things in order to make me crazy and all the while I was trying to cover it up by having great sex. Finally, I just cracked and couldn't hide it anymore. Maybe I am just a wee bit MI sometimes. Do you think?