I've been having unstable states of mind for some time.
I can assume it comes from loneliness (although I work with people and still communicate here and there at home and some friends I know) and lack of direction in life, as I'm heading to university in the upcoming year.

My mental states are switching, and consist of the following:
1. Happy and settled
2. Furious and hating the system
3. Feeling like a loser
4. Outbursting with great vitality

My previous therapist would never dig into this - one reason I left him.
I should note those states of mind are only internal feelings. They mostly don't turn into actions.

Unfortunately I feel I'm only existing - doing work and just sitting in front of the computer. This has pretty much always been my life, except with school at first.
I had a problem of lacking touch with reality since childhood. I can be curious about nothing, not finding any use in learning something new. Although I sometimes put hard effort into trying, like I did with fishkeeping for example.

Generally, I'm stuck, always been that way. Sometimes I feel it's something at home (still live with parents) that keeps things this way and I just feel like leaving to live a life for a change.
I mean, why bother finding love just to marry and have a family when you're feeling like this...?
I'm planning on studying Math + a professional major (either Statistics+Operations Research, or Computer Science. Since Computer Science requires a high grade in the admission test, it may seem unlikely...).
I don't know how to put this, but there have been voices that being settled in life is wrong, and that I should always seek to improve myself and get the best out of life. In short, get out of the mainstream rail (such as the rail of career+marriage+family) and do something meaningful for yourself and reality.

I need help on this. It's getting hard to express what I'm going through, but I hope someone can understand and help on this.

Thanks

EDIT: Just watched the following video: "Why Is Work So Boring?" by The School of Life (highly-recommended channel for many topics)
When we specialize in one area in life overtime and can't do many other things. Kinda relates to this.