Hello Obsidian: Well... I would say the mental states you list are pretty-much common to everyone. I certainly recognize them. I don't know as I can really be of any help with this. But the one thing I will suggest to you is that the time to figure it out is now. Once you get onto that rail of career+marriage+family it becomes exceedingly difficult to break free. That's okay if that's what one wants. But if it's not it can be a nightmare...