Hey guys! It's late here and so I apologize if I'm not the most coherent in this. I have known something is wrong with me my entire life, but have never been able to work out what it is. Recently though, I had an aha moment that convinced me it could be bipolar disorder-- or at least bipolar tendencies. I have had a multitude of episodes of depression throughout my life. Really it only seems to take so much to plunge my mood way down, and then it seems impossible to bring it back up again. I also do have periods in which I'm much much happier, motivated, and excitable than usual. Since I can remember, every once in a while, I've had a day where I'm so incredibly excitable and erratic that all my friends notice. I've never minded this that much though-- it's always felt abnormal, but I don't mind being on top of the moon those days honestly. I am of course, not going to get all of my information from an online forum, nor am I asking for a diagnosis by any means. I'm just asking a few clarifying questions. (Don't worry about giving me professional opinions; I'll get those from professionals. Just speak personally, if you will.)
1. Are you periods of mania less recognizable than your periods of depression, or was it like that before you knew you had the disorder?
2. Did you doubt that you could actually have the disorder even when you heard about it earlier in life, or did you know quickly?
3. Were you put on antidepressants prior to your diagnosis that wrecked your normal mood patterns?
Any other helpful words of advice would be much appreciated. Sorry for such a long post! Thank you so much for reading!