Thanks, Hun. It's a fact that depression and anxiety appear together. I know that. It's just that right now, I'm really sick of it!

The problem with my eyes is that they don't adjust to light very well. I know this! It's been going on for a while. It must be getting worse, though, and with the anxiety comes the fear of having a catastrophic illness or dying. This is "normal" with anxiety, but... I just get so sick of it sometimes! I get sick of having the illness raise it's ugly head just when I don't need it and I get sick and tired of ALWAYS having to fight it.

Wanna hear the clincher? My youngest son just called me and gave me the news that my daughter (that hasn't had anything to do with me in 7 yrs) is coming to town on the 17th. Normally, it doesn't bother me. Today, I broke down. I want to see her so bad!! I want to see my grandsons, too!!

Weakness! I'm weak today!

God, this just isn't fair! Nothing is fair! She's coming to her dad's house. The man she couldn't stand a few years ago, the man she inherited schizophrenia from, the man that is married to the Wicked Witch of the West... whom she's ALWAYS hated because of the abuse he inflected on her and her brother! I've never done anything to her but love and encourage her! %#@&#!! %#@&#!! %#@&#!! IT ISN'T FREAKIN' FAIR!! I've been sleeping all day just to avoid having to deal with anything. I want to enjoy the holidays, DAMMIT! It's hard enough to do as it is.

Crap! I'm going back to bed!